Hey there! Have you been watching the GOP debates? What’s that you say? You’re not sure, because you go into a daze as soon as they come on? Well, I know what you mean. I’ve watched a few of them, and they’ve all become a blur. Nothing for nothing, but is it a requirement to be boring in order to run for President? Someone on Twitter said it’s time to pull the key out of Rick Perry’s back and let him fall over. Yeah! But meanwhile …
There’s basically one debate each week or two, and since we have to amuse ourselves while waiting for the next one (or during the ones we are watching), we might as well engage in some Voter Education during the lulls (or maybe the lulz). For starters, if I were a Republican, based on these candidates’ policies I would not be able to decide who to vote for, so I think I’ll just look at their hairstyles and base my decision on that. Maybe if Rick Perry wore his hair like Michele Bachmann, I might like him better:
… And maybe I might want to see what the other dreary GOP candidates look like with each other’s hair, just for a comparison — you know, to liven things up — and to be a more informed voter, of course. Maybe I might like Bachmann better with Huntsman’s hair … or maybe not:
Okay … What other aspects should I consider if I am a Republican voter? Hmmm … I think I’ll check out these soundbites from the scholarly, learned folks over at Bad Lip Reading. These snippets from the candidates’ speeches while they are on the campaign trail should tell me all I need to know about Perry and Romney:
Well, it’s nice to know that Perry would let me borrow his CDs. And who knew that Romney had so much to say about Madonna? That’s illuminating, but I’m still undecided. I guess I’ll just have to break down and watch some more GOP debates. This is the actual legitimate ==> Republican Primary Debate schedule
You can never say I didn’t do my part for Voter Education. Of course, the Debate Schedule is the “real thing”, but the various links above the debate schedule are Even Better Than the Real Thing.
And while you’re educating yourselves, people … “Save a pretzel for the gas jets!” 😀